


The Sun Is Shining Somewhere

by E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Past Lars/Sadie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22769239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: Lars decides to climb a mountain.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 21





	The Sun Is Shining Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [loveluckylost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveluckylost/gifts).



> Lars climbs a hill, as you do.
> 
> For my good friend loveluckylost!

** The Sun Is Shining Somewhere **

Early one morning, Lars decided to climb a mountain.

He packed his car - a beat up hand-me-down his dad had given him when he’d turned twenty-one - and set off, out of Delmarva and due west into West Appalachia, to a campsite the Barrigas had often stayed as a child. He went slowly, and it took him all day, but he was soon in the wooded clearing he remembered from long, uncomfortable summer nights from long ago.

He’d always hated this place. As a kid, he’d hated camping - _detested_ it. Camping was cold and muddy, and he always ended up covered in bug bites. His dad would get so annoyingly cheerful and nostalgic about his own youth, and his mother would try and fail to operate the campsite’s barbeques and serve them all burnt lumps of meat that might once have been sausages. He’d come home covered in sores and sunburn, and the kids at school would laugh at him.

He remembered it being so much busier than it was now. Today the campsite only had one other visitor - a bearded old man with a mass of political stickers on the bumper of his rusted pickup - and seemed so much more forlorn, more overgrown. Time had taken its toll on it, just as it did on everything.

Well, _almost_ everything.

He didn’t sleep much that night - he lay on the roof and gazed at the stars twinkling above, and thought back on adventures past.

Then, at the crack of dawn, he started on his journey up the mountain.

The track was lonely - it was just him, the trees, the rocks and the distant birdsong. In such a solitary place, it was easy for his imagination to wander…

“It’s pretty peaceful, isn’t it?”

Lars smiled and glanced at the Sadie in his mind’s eye as she walked along, leaving no footprints and rustling no leaves. Her long-discarded Big Donut shirt peeked out from under her jacket, and her hair showed not a trace of green dye. She was a phantom of times gone by, but to Lars she was a good companion for a hike.

“I never knew you liked hiking,” she said, watching a baby bird jump from branch to branch.

“It grew on me,” replied Lars. “When you spend so much time running from Homeworld pirate hunters, I guess you start to appreciate the quiet moments more.”

Sadie nodded.

“So why’re you here?” he asked.

“I dunno.” Sadie shrugged and shoved her hands in her pockets. “Maybe you just needed a Player Two right now. I mean, you’ve got a lot on your mind, right?”

“Yeah,” Lars nodded. “I guess so. But y’know, this is hardly better than talking to myself…”

“It _isn’t_ better than talking to yourself,” replied Sadie cheekily. “‘Cause that’s what you’re doing. You know that, right?”

Lars chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

They reached a rope bridge over a gorge, long and rickety. Lars glanced down at the green and orange trees in the valley below, and swallowed a slight feeling of nausea in his throat.

“Always hated this bridge,” he said. “Still kinda scared of it. That’s dumb, right?”

“Why would it be dumb?”

Stevonnie sat on a rock nearby, smiling gently.

“Well, y’know,” Lars rubbed the back of his head, blushing. “I’ve been to space. Why should a bridge still be scary?”

“Same reason being in front of a crowd is still scary,” replied Stevonnie. “Same reason starting your bakery was scary.”

“Same way deciding what you’re doing next is scary,” added Sadie.

Lars nodded, and gingerly took his first step onto the bridge. He closed his eyes, wincing as it wobbled, but took another step, and another, and another…

“This is what it’s all about, right?” he asked. “Taking that next step.”

“Yeah, but there’s no hurry,” said Stevonnie. “Maybe you wanna stay at the bakery for now.”

Lars huffed. “Not like there’s a rush, I guess.”

He felt solid ground below him and opened his eyes. He was over, back on solid ground. He turned around - the bridge seemed much smaller on this side, the gorge much shallower, the trees more like little bushes and shrubs.

“But y’know, maybe things just look scarier than they actually are,” he mused. “Before you do them, I mean.”

He carried on, hands in his pocket. Three figures trudged along the path, but only one set of feet made the sound of the crunch of dirt and leaves beneath them. For a long time, they were silent, Lars looking up at the rays of sunlight shining through the trees.

“You ever wonder what might have been?” he asked out loud. “If you hadn’t been… you know, _dumb?_ ”

“Oh yeah, all the time.”

Lars glanced to his right. Ronaldo trudged beside him, hands tucked somewhat self-importantly behind his back.

“If I’d found out about the conspiracy to sap the Earth’s helium reserves earlier, I could’ve warned everyone sooner,” he explained.

Lars snorted.

“Yeah, sure Ronaldo,” he replied.

“It’s true! You gotta read between the lines, man!”

Lars crossed his arms, looking up again.

“I guess what I mean is,” he said, “I kinda wish I’d tried to make more friends. Not just with the Cool Kids, I mean, just… with people. But… y’know, it never happened. I was too…”

He took a deep breath and sighed.

“...too scared.”

“Is that why you’re not sure if you want to go back to space?” asked Ronaldo.

“No, no, it’s… I’m worry about how I’ll feel if I _don’t_ go back,” replied Lars. “I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life sitting around wondering what might have happened. I could’ve been friends with Buck and his friends, you know? I just…”

“It’s not too late,” said Sadie.

Lars smiled somewhat bitterly.

“Thanks,” he replied. “But you’re wrong. They gave me chance after chance after chance, and I still blew it. That ship’s sailed.”

“What if they gave you one more chance?” asked Stevonnie.

“Why would they?” replied Lars. “I wouldn’t.”

Sadie shrugged.

“Well, maybe you’ve gotta give yourself a break,” she suggested. “Maybe you’re not as terrible as you think you are. I mean, the Off-Colors think the world of you. Steven loves you. I like you.”

“But I’m an _asshole_ ,” said Lars. “Just look at what I did to Ronaldo!”

Ronaldo put a hand that Lars did not feel on his shoulder.

“The past is the past,” he said. “Until we find the time machine they’ve hidden at Area 52.”

Lars chuckled.

Before long, they’d passed out of the woods and were walking along a cliffside path. In the distance, Lars could see a long line of power lines dancing through the trees, like one giant power cord connecting the entire state of Appalachia. The steel supports glistened in the sunlight, the sterile grey contrasting with the vibrant greenery.

“I feel like there’s a lot at stake,” mused Lars.

“Hmm?” Sadie raised an eyebrow.

“I put a lot of effort into that bakery,” said Lars. “What if I leave and it all falls apart? What if I leave and mom and dad are disappointed in me? But then what if I stay and feel mad at myself because I didn’t go?”

He frowned.

“What’s the right answer?”

“There is no right answer.”

Buck stepped out from behind a tree, adjusting his glasses.

“Your friends will love you no matter what you do,” he said. “The only thing you could possibly disappoint is your soul.”

“Uh, yeah, hashtag deep, Buck,” said Lars, rolling his eyes.

“It’s true, though,” agreed Stevonnie. “People love you, Lars. They want you to be happy. So what makes you happy? Baking or space?”

Lars looked up at the blue sky.

“I dunno,” he replied. “They both do. But I can’t run a bakery from the Sun Incinerator.”

He blinked.

“Well I _can_ ,” he admitted. “But I don’t _want_ to.”

He shook his head.

“I should just stay here,” he snorted.

“In Appalachia?” asked Stevonnie cheekily.

“Yeah, ‘Von, I’m gonna become a mountain man,” said Lars, sarcasm dripping from his words. “I mean on Earth! I have a stable business, a family that loves me, friends… there’s no risk of being sucked into a wormhole and ending up in the butt dimension, or hitting an asteroid, or…”

“Hold up, is there a _Butt Dimension?!_ ” Ronaldo gasped, cupping his cheeks. “What’s it like?”

“Full of butts, probably,” Sadie shrugged.

“I’d go there,” said Buck.

“That’s a _joke_ , guys,” said Lars. “There’s no Butt Dimension! A-at least not that I know of… that’s not even the point!”

He ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

“Things are _good_ ,” he said. “Maybe… maybe now’s not the right time, you know?”

They passed through a short cutting and emerged on the other side. In the distance, crossing over the valley, was the big iron bridge that carried the main railway line; a mammoth monolith of industrialism in the middle of undisturbed natural beauty. A silver train was sliding across the bridge, two diesel engines effortlessly dragging a dozen stainless steel coaches behind them. This was the end of the path - a little picnic bench sat nearby, and Lars trudged over it, planting himself down on the wooden beams.

“Maybe it’s just not the right time,” he mused. “I should wait a while, see what happens…”

Sadie sat down next to him - Lars looked around, and found they were suddenly alone. There was no sign that Stevonnie, Ronaldo and Buck had left; no footprints in the dust or rustling of leaves under feet. It was as if it had always just been he and Sadie - and maybe it had.

She smiled, closed her eyes and began to sing.

“ _I waited for a sunny day to launch my grand design,_  
But clouds would loom, the winds would turn, it happened every time,  
Until at last it struck me; I should let it all unfold…” 

She took his hand (for a moment, Lars could have sworn it was actually tangible) and they looked out over the distant valley together.

“ _...the sun is shining somewhere, and fortune loves the bold._ ”

“I’ve heard that song before, I think,” mused Lars. “It was… it was that playlist you showed me by that singer; the one that does all the King Arthur stuff.”

He smiled sadly.

“That was our last night together, wasn’t it?”

Lars looked down at the ground, watching a leaf drifting along in the wind.

“I mean, we knew it was over,” he remembered. “We’d known for a long time. It wasn’t even much of a date, ‘cause I just sat there talking about… about how afraid I was to start the bakery.”

He looked up and smiled again.

“And you played me that song.”

Sadie nodded, smiling back.

“You’ll never know unless you leap.”

“You were always better at that than I was,” said Lars. “I mean you made a _band._ You’re famous!”

“ _Indie_ famous,” clarified Sadie. “I’m hardly the Mountain Goats.”

“Yeah, but still…”

Lars looked up at the sky once more, watching the clouds drifting by.

“That was the last time we kissed,” he said softly. “I’ve always wondered how you felt about it?”

“Well, how did you feel?” asked Sadie.

“...empty,” replied Lars. “Just… really empty. Like there was nothing else I could take out of… us. We’d laughed, we’d cried, we’d yelled, and now it was just _done._ ”

Sadie nodded but didn’t reply.

“But in a way? I kind of felt _lighter_ ,” continued Lars. “Like this big thing was off my shoulders… I know that probably sounds mean.”

For a long time, neither said anything. They just watched the fluffy white clouds go by in silence.

“Would you kiss me now?” asked Sadie.

Lars shook his head.

“It wouldn’t be right,” he replied. “Plus if a hiker came and saw me making out with thin air, it’d sorta make me look a bit crazy.”

They both chuckled. Sadie squeezed Lars’ hand a little tighter.

“How does the thought of staying make you feel? Lighter or heavier?”

Lars pondered for a moment.

“Heavier.”

“And the thought of leaving?”

“Lighter.”

“Then I think you’ve got your answer,” nodded Sadie. “You gotta take that leap. You’ve taken it before…”

“Fortune loves the bold, huh?” replied Lars.

He turned around, looking her in the eyes.

“I’m sorry I was an awful friend, Sadie,” he said. “I’m sorry I-”

“No,” Sadie planted a finger on his lips. “No more focusing on yesterday. It’s time to look to tomorrow.”

Lars felt a distinct wet feeling on his cheek, and noticed his eyes watering. Gently, he pulled Sadie into a hug, closing his eyes and taking in her phantom presence. He stayed there for some time, losing himself in the sounds of the wilderness and the feel of the wind on his skin.

When he opened his eyes, he found he was hugging nothing but himself. For the briefest moment, he considered stopping; he shook that thought away left his arms where they were, trying to give himself the love he felt for his friend.

It didn’t quite stick in, but it was a good start.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Sadie sings is 'Fortune' by Heather Dale.


End file.
